Sports Give Our Lives Meaning!

From the desk of: Joel

Well, that sure was a stupid ending to the College Football season....

I tuned in for the first half of the Alabama-Texas game, slightly supporting Texas because I hear that Austin is a cool town and they have several excellent Nietzsche scholars there. But I turned it off at halftime after their poor, deer-in-the-headlights freshman QB turned the ball over and gave Alabama a 24-6 lead. Yawn. I guess that the Longhorns made something of a game of it later, but still, the fact of the matter is that the SEC has now won four straight national championships. I believe that the SEC is overrated, and that they get an unfair advantage in the rankings, but until somebody beats them on the field, it's really all just sound and fury.

It's kind of the same with the Pac-10. I watched the Rose Bowl from our friends' house in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Nobody cared about the game but me, and I was jumping all over the room, yelling and screaming at the television while everyone was made fun of me and played Presidents and Assholes. The point is that, while I still believe that the Ducks are better than Ohio State, and that they played a bad game, and they were jinxed by their stupid white helmets, the fact is that they lost. Add that to the Pac-10's 2-5 record in bowls this year, including blowout losses by the Beavers against BYU and Arizona against Nebraska, and it looks like we're in for yet another year of people ignoring the Pac-10 and/or saying derogatory things about it. Oh, well.

So, on to the next sport! The Blazers beat the Lakers last night! And are right behind Denver in their division, despite playing without half of their team! Go buy your Juwan Howard jerseys, quick!

Also, for those of you who were wondering, St. Augustine of Hippo defeated Simone de Beauvoir to win the Ultimate Philosophers Championship this year. It was epic.

Also, Stupid White Helmets: