Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Well What'dya Know...
Monday, December 21, 2009
Happy Winter Solstice!
It being the Holidays and all, I thought I'd take this opportunity to share a few articles from Religion Dispatches with you. Robyn has been following this website for a while and has gotten me into it, and I think that it's a great way to waste time on the internet while also actually maybe possibly reading something thoughtful and intelligent.
The first article that you should read is: Tebow's Tears: Is God Really a Gator Fan? It's about Tim Tebow and how he wears his religion not only on his sleeve but also on his face, writing the chapter and verse of a Bible selection beneath his eyes for each game. The author says:
Religion Dispatches generally has scholars and philosophers write their article, as well as interesting peoples of different faiths, plus a few random journalists, bloggers, etc. A fun philosophical piece that you could read is Lying About Santa: The Irrelevance of Proof to the Holiday Spirit, which is in turn a response to "Beyond Belief: A Philosophical Proof of Santa Claus." You see now why I like this website.I have struggled in the past several weeks to come to terms with my own apparent prejudices. Something about these painted Bible verses offends me, and I have not yet been able to articulate a way for that reaction to be consistent. To be sure, as a scholar of religion, I am frustrated, when I am not dumbfounded, by the happy-go-lucky and freewheeling scriptural exegeses that Tebow’s weekly verse selection now prompts on national televison.
But that hardly seems fair. Tim Tebow is an evangelical Christian of impeccable pedigree, and he has used his raw athletic talent to get me, and tens of thousands like me each week, to pick up the Bible and read it. That is no mean accomplishment.
More substantively perhaps, this kind of bumper-sticker spirituality—quote a Bible verse, just one or two, and completely out of context—makes me very nervous. It invites the false assumption that one can cherry-pick from the Bible, finding the verse one needs for any occasion. If you are at a sporting match, then look for someplace where Mark describes a contest, Paul invokes athletics or a great cloud of witnesses, or some other evangelist invokes victory. There does seem to be something down-dumbing in such a biblical practice.
Of course, if you're a total Grinch and would rather spend your Holidays worrying about the poor and needy in the world, well, Religion Dispatches has stuff about that, too. In today's article Changing the Jewish State and the State of Jews: J Street and the Future of Israel, author Mark LeVine writes,
The Israeli ambassador to the US recently joined the American right charging that pro-Israel and pro-Palestinian J Street put the very “survival of the Jewish state” into question. Indeed, recognizing the full humanity of Palestinians would require a radical transformation of Israeli, Zionist, and even Jewish-American identity.Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Happy Holidays...
Transcript:
Voice Off-Camera: Hey, Kiefer. You're a pirate, man.
Kiefer: That would explain everything. [jumps into Christmas tree]
Monday, December 14, 2009
This Is Why I Always Played As Orcs
Also, I can no longer watch the following scene without saying the line, "Look at me! I'm Blanche DuBois!"
*She has an excuse; she's sick. I'm just lazy.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Too Early For Thinking
Maybe Greg Oden keeps getting hurt because the Norse god Odin is angry that they share the same last name. Maybe Greg Oden should change his name to Greg Smith. Or Greg Poseidon.
Robyn took me to see the Nutcracker at the Krannert Center on Sunday. It was lots of fun - I had never seen the entire ballet before - but I think that my entire experience was tainted by being raised on Fantasia. During the Chinese dance, all I could see were those cute little mushrooms running around in circles. It was hilarious.
If I were Boise St. and TCU, I would take three knees and then punt on each of my first possessions as a form of protest against the BCS for being stuck in the Fiesta Bowl playing against each other.
Robyn found this interview of Bard professor Roger Berkowitz in Harper's Magazine. Berkowitz is discussing the writings and philosophy Hannah Arendt, who is buried at Bard and is pretty much our alma mater's philosophy bff. (With the possible exception of maybe Kant.) You should read it if you have time. Some highlights:
The political lies Arendt worries about are not mere falsehoods. They are political acts in which facts are denied and alternative realities are created. In denying facts, the political liar acts to change the world, to make reality anew so that it conforms to our needs and desires. In this way, lying is at the essence of political action....
Arendt’s letter to Ellison has been seized upon as evidence that she recanted her opposition to forced integration. This overstates the case. Ellison rejects Arendt’s claim that black parents exploited their children by sending them into such an explosive situation. Arendt’s admission that she did not understand the black experience of sacrifice does not suggest that she altered her view that forced desegregation was a fundamental violation of the rights of all parents to educate their children as they wished....
After the war, she stood with Judah Magnes as a critic of the establishment of Israel as a Jewish state. Instead, she advocated for a binational state that encompassed Jews and Arabs as equal citizens. Whether such a state was ever possible, many have credited Arendt with prescience in her prediction that a Jewish state would necessarily be chauvinist, that Palestinians—as second class citizens—would emerge as refugees presenting an insolvable problem, and that Israel would become a militarized state....
Thursday, December 3, 2009
5 Thoughts On A Thursday
2) By the way, does anybody else think it's a bit odd that it's the Oregon-Oregon State game that has become the Civil War game? I mean, doesn't every University of X play X State at some point during the season? And it seems to me that, of all the 50 states, Oregon may have the least to do with the actual Civil War? (On second thought, that's probably exactly the reason why. There's probably be a lot more violence if they started calling Illinois vs Illinois State or Georgia vs Georgia Tech the "Civil War" game. Who gets to be the Blues? Who's the Greys?)
3) I actually did end up answering that student who asked me, "What is philosophy?" I fumbled about a bit, and then told him that it was kinda like psychology - because he knew what psychology is - in that it's a way to learn about people and find out why they do the things that they do, except that philosophy is also interested in trying to find out what are the right and wrong things for people to do, and to find out why those things are right or wrong. This seemed to satisfy him, and I was able to breath easy knowing I wouldn't have to get into the whole Meaning of Being issue.
4) I'm sorry about the big vacancy at the end of November there. Robyn and I were in Ohio for Thanksgiving, visiting her grandparents and other relatives. As you might have guessed, the grandparents don't have WiFi; we were able to get a weak signal from one of the neighbors if we stood in the corner of the guest bedroom at just the right time of day and held the laptop over our heads while spinning in a counter-clockwise direction. Having said that, we had a great time in Ohio, and got to eat lots of good food, drink lots of good wine, and play a lot of Bridge with Robyn's grandparents.
5)
The Oregon bears, Jonas Stamper found, were all well fed on clams and berries, and fat and lazy as old house cats. The Indians, nourished on the same two limitless sources of food, were even fatter and a damn sight lazier than the bears. Yes. They were peaceful enough. So were the bears. In fact the whole country was more peaceful than he had expected. But there was this odd... volatile feeling about the new country that struck him the very day he arrived, struck him and stuck, and never left him all the three years he lived in Oregon.
*Only because Deschutes Brewery doesn't have a distributor east of the Mississippi. Does anyone else want to start a petition to change this sad fact?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
How About You Tell Me What Philosophy Is, And I'll Tell You If You're Right
Can the Muppets become an internet meme, even if (a) They existed before the internet, (b) They are far cooler than the internet or anything that has ever been produced by the internet, and (c) Their popularity is in no way contingent upon the internet or internet users?
The evidence:
Wordlustitude: fan-muppet-tastic
adj. A kid-friendly version of fan-fucking-tastic.
Real citation: "@Messshy I've been chatting to Sharon Corr about it and RTed on youtube...*name drop* It's fan-muppet-tastic!!! Can't stop watching it! x"
(Nov. 27, 2009, Andalucian Kitty, Twitter, http://twitter.com/AndalucianKitty/statuses/6125134250)
Made-up citation: "Kids today think Elmo is fan-muppet-tastic... But they don't know what I know. In the seventies, Elmo lived on coke and Satanism--and that was on a good day."
Brian Lynch: 30 ROCK is a rip-off of THE MUPPET SHOW!
Tina Fey's 30 ROCK is currently the most acclaimed comedy series on television. It's won numerous Emmys and Golden Globes and I think Pulitzers. Critics and audiences alike love the show and its lovable zany characters, and consider it one of the most original comedies in years.
And I guess it is original...if you've never seen THE MUPPET SHOW. Because, my "friends" (in quotes because I don't know or trust you, please don't be offended), Tina Fey's 30 ROCK is quite obviously ripping off Jim Henson's beloved TV show.
"You're crazy", you say? "Wow, now with the insults. This is why I don't trust you", I respond. And the I hit you up with so many facts you HAVE to concede I'm absolutely right.
November 30, 1969! This is like that time in high school when your friend "discovered" this band called Led Zeppelin and would talk about nothing else for the entire semester! The verdict: The internet has no authority over anything ever having to do with the Muppets or their popularity or their inherent cool-ness. It may only reproduce and distribute Muppet YouTube videos and make comments on LOLcats.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Weekend Update
Remember what I was saying about how awesome Pac-10 football? Well, Sports Illustrated agrees with me. So there.
The senate is supposed to finally vote on the health bill today. But, wait - what do you mean that the effects of the Health-Reform Bill won't take effect until after 2013? That is, not until after 2012, when Obama has already either been re-elected or not, and after I get the chance to either show my approval or disapproval of the Healthcare in the 2012 election, and, most importantly, the bill won't take effect until the apocalyptic cataclysms of 2012? That sucks.
Yesterday was Library Friday in for our 8th grade reading and writing class, which the students really like and is a nice, relaxing way to end the work week. I have been spending most of this time reading The Diary of Anne Frank with one of our students. Yesterday, while we were reading, he suddenly turned to me and asked, "What did you major in in college?" "Philosophy." I said. "Oh." he said, and turned for a minute back to his book. After a pause, he looked at me again and asked: "What's philosophy?"
Gulp.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Be Careful What You Wish For OR The Blazers Are Rolling
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Yes, I Do Love Pac-10 Football
1) Oregon (8-2, 6-1): Win at Arizona, Win vs. Oregon St.
2) Arizona (6-3, 4-2): Win vs. Oregon, Win at Arizona St., Win at USC.
3) Oregon State (7-3, 5-2): Win at Wash. St., Win at Oregon. Have Arizona lose once.
4) Stanford (7-3, 6-2): Win vs. Cal. Have Oregon lose once, Arizona lose once, and Oregon State lose once.
5) USC (7-3, 4-3): Win vs. UCLA, Win vs. Arizona. Have Oregon lose to Arizona and Oregon State. Have Arizona beat Arizona State. Have Oregon State lose to Washington State. Have Cal beat Stanford and Washington, thereby creating a six team tie for first place. The first tie-breaker would be those six team's records against one another, which would be: USC: 3-2, Arizona: 3-2, Oregon State: 3-2, Stanford: 2-3, Cal: 2-3, Oregon: 2-3. Oregon, Stanford, and Cal would all be dropped, leaving only Arizona, Oregon State, and USC, and since USC beat both Oregon St. and Arizona, they would win the final tie breaker.
6) California (7-3, 4-3): Win at Stanford, Win at Washington. Have Oregon lose to Arizona and Oregon State. Have Arizona lose to Arizona State and USC. Have Oregon State lose to Washington State. Have USC lose to UCLA. This would create a four-way tie for first between Oregon, Oregon State, Cal, and Stanford. Their head-to-head records would be: Oregon: 1-2, Stanford: 1-2, Cal: 1-2, Oregon State: 3-0..... Damn. Maybe there are only five teams that can still go to the Rose Bowl. Let me get back to you on this one.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
"It takes a lot of time and a lot of welding"
Scene: Joel's rereading Catch-22, watching The Simpsons, and bothering the cat with an odd, jiggling stuffed Christmas thing leftover from our Halloween party.
I'm doing homework (slightly) and reading a wedding blog (ouch).
R: "Look, these people in Portland had a Neo-Victorian Haunted Museum Wedding"
J: "Since when did Portland become the Steampunk capital of the world? Get it together Portland. Go slaughter some cows or build railroads, or something!"
R: "Their chief export is whimsy! And it's misty in Portland, helps to tarnish their brass."
J: "I don't care, they need to do something real..."
Where In The World Is Joel? Not San Diego!
"Have you guys been to Allerton Park?" he asked us.
"What?" we said in unison.
"Oh, man! You guys have got to see Allerton Park! It is awesome!"
So we did, because it was a lovely Saturday afternoon and we happened to run into our friend John - who called his girlfriend Jean who drove us to Allerton Park - and because we didn't really have anything better to do.
It turns out that Allerton Park is awesome, and it is also absolutely insane. The park is 1,500 acres of woods and marshes that surround the Allerton mansion and estate. The estate was built as a home by Samuel Allerton - Chicago businessman, politico, and slaughterhouse tycoon - for his gay, art-collecting, philanthropist son, Robert. On the Allerton Park website, it says, "Allerton believed that art surrounded and embraced every human being through nature. His belief in the artistic power of nature led to a life-long commitment to stewardship of the land and its natural elements." I can just imagine the conversation the 20-year old Robert had with Samuel while his dad was running for Mayor of Chicago in 1893. "But Dad, I don't want to go and work in the stockyards! I believe that art surrounds and embraces every human being through nature!"
But it sounds like Robert was rather happy in his estate out in the woods, where he collected art and was a patron to both the University of Illinois and the Art Institute of Chicago. He lived there until 1946, where he and his partner, John Gregg, moved to Kauai and donated the entire estate to the University of Illinois. In 1960, Allerton officially adopted Gregg and declared him legal heir, thereby allowing Gregg to continue Allerton's legacies of philanthropy and art patronage.*
Today, the estate is a state park, one of the "Seven Wonders of Illinois," and the main building serves as a conference center. And the place is crazy-cool. Allerton and Gregg had traveled the world collecting art pieces, and Allerton Park has a mosaic of aesthetic themes coming from China, the South Pacific, Egypt, Greece, Versailles, and Duchess County, New York. (Where Samuel Allerton was born. Robert went to prep school in Massachusetts and dropped out of Harvard.)
Here are some pictures Robyn and I took on our camera phones:
And at the end of the hedgerows... "The Birth of Man." Looking good, Adam. No Eve necessary.
This is the path going out into the woods on the other side of the mansion. Only one of two things live at the end of that path: The Headless Horseman or the Erlkonig.
Or John.
This path actually goes for a ways around the estate, and there were lots of signs telling us to look out for bow hunters. We saw lots of pileated woodpeckers, and even heard an owl of some sort.
More woods. Check out that vine twisting around and choking that tree to death.
Actually, the path leads to the Fu Dog Garden. Inside that gazebo are two statues of Buddha and one of an Egyptian pharaoh, all being guarded by 22 Chinese Fu Dogs. (This was my favorite part.)
The Fu Dogs are made out of blue ceramic, and became popular during the Han Dynasty. (200 BC - 220 AD) I don't know how old these ones are.
Fu Dog!
I call the big one Bitey.
Black Fu Dog!
*An interesting way to cope with the discriminations and legal obstacles presented to gay men and lesbians who cannot marry. Gregg was 26 years younger than Robert, but was also 61 when he was adopted.
**Fu Dog!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
As I should have said:
Pollitt:
"You know what I don't want to hear right now about the Stupak-Pitts amendment banning abortion coverage from federally subsidized health insurance policies? That it's the price of reform, and prochoice women should shut up and take one for the team. "If you want to rebuild the American welfare state," Peter Beinart writes in the Daily Beast, "there is no alternative" than for Democrats to abandon "cultural" issues like gender and racial equality. Hey, Peter, Representative Stupak and your sixty-four Democratic supporters, Jim Wallis and other antichoice "progressive" Christians, men: why don't you take one for the team for a change and see how you like it?
For example, budget hawks in Congress say they'll vote against the bill because it's too expensive. Maybe you could win them over if you volunteered to cut out funding for male-exclusive stuff, like prostate cancer, Viagra, male infertility, vasectomies, growth-hormone shots for short little boys, long-term care for macho guys who won't wear motorcycle helmets and, I dunno, psychotherapy for pedophile priests. Men could always pay in advance for an insurance policy rider, as women are blithely told they can do if Stupak becomes part of the final bill.
President Obama, too, worries about the deficit. Maybe you could help him out by sacrificing your denomination's tax exemption. The Catholic Church would be a good place to start, and it wouldn't even be unfair, since the blatant politicking of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops on abortion violates the spirit of the ban on electoral meddling by tax-exempt religious institutions. Why should antichoicers be the only people who get to refuse to let their taxes support something they dislike? You don't want your tax dollars to pay, even in the most notional way, for women's abortion care, a legal medical procedure that one in three American women will have in her lifetime? I don't want to pay for your misogynist fairy tales and sour-old-man hierarchies."
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
There Oughtta Be A Law
Honestly, I wasn't too upset about the Ducks losing to Stanford last weekend. I kind of saw it coming: Oregon was coming off of a big win and was due for a let down, Stanford had an extra week to prepare, plus the Cardinal is much better than a lot of people assumed. Also, I kind of like Stanford - they're the nerds of the Pac-10. Richard Rorty taught there. I can't wait for them to play Notre Dame in an epic clash of two powerhouse philosophy programs. But what irks me is this:
Oregon is 14th in the AP poll. USC is 11th.
According to Pollspeak.com, out of the 60 voters in the AP poll, 23 now have USC ranked higher than Oregon.
Even in the BCS, USC is 9th and Oregon is 13th.
Both teams are 7-2. Both teams have a victory over a top 20 non-conference opponent (#10 Ohio State and #16 Utah.) Both teams have lost to a Pac-10 underdog (Washington and #25 Stanford.) And, what else? Oh yes, Oregon beat USC 47-20 less than two weeks ago.
This injustice will not stand.
Monday, November 9, 2009
D'oh!
Guess which subject is the absolute farthest from "Academia"?
...America
Sunday, November 8, 2009
And where are the french fries I did not ask for? You need to anticipate me!
I'm delighted to have Joel capitalize on the fact that I'm too lazy to maintain a blog of my own. This will be far more efficient than yelling suggestions from across the room. First things first, I think we need some titles. For example, I am nominating myself the official Information (Mad)Scientist as well as the Czar of Lady Business.
On that note, here's some News that Makes me Angry:
Yesterday the House of Representatives passed the Stupak amendment to the health care reform bill by 290-194. This included 64 yay votes from Democrats (scumbags).
This amendment prohibits covering abortions for anyone on the prospective government health insurance plan. According to the Associated Press, "The amendment also prevents private insurers from covering abortions for anyone getting federal subsidies to help pay their premiums." Yet another instance of the Dems throwing women's health under the bus to placate a pack of obstructionist loons. Like their capitulation over a decent public option, I don't see the point of even passing a health care bill if it's stripped the elements that could make it effective.
And I'm counting down to when the Obama administration repeats their tune of "We all need to work together to find common ground over the abortion issue". This isn't an argument with two reasonable sides coming to an agreement, it's about whether we'll allow women and their health providers the freedom to control their own medical decisions.
What I can't get over is that the Republicans and the credulous are having conniptions over 'government mandating' of health care, or anything that interferes with the work of the Free Markettm in public services. Yet they see no conflict in turning around and effectively banning a procedure that could affect half the U.S. population.1
And I'd just love to know what personal medical decisions men are prohibited from making under this plan."The Democrats' original bill would have allowed people getting federal subsidies to pay for abortion coverage with their own money." Isn't this the heart of American conservatism? 'People do what they want with their money, bureaucrats be damned!' (Oh, that assumes they think women are people, doesn't it?)
You can find out how your Representative voted here: http://clerk.house.gov I'm pleased to see that Hodes and Shea Porter from NH voted no, and unsurprised to see that IL-15th's unmitigated ass Tim Johnson supports this.
There's the possibility that this could be taken out of the Senate version of the bill, so I'll be sending letters to Congress.
And to combat my woe, here's a picture of Robert Pattinson pretending to be a lobster man:
1. By which I mean the poor part of half the U.S. population. Wealthy women will of course still be able to go to Canada or get ahold of RU-486. Don't have the funds for that? There's always back-alleys and coat hangers.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Meet Your New Bosses Friends
R.A., as many of you know, is living with me here in Urbana while she works towards her Master's degree in Library Science. She is rapidly becoming an expert in very technical sounding areas like "information technology" and "data curation." She has also sworn to "use my library powers only for good," after having read that Swanson was using tw0-node searching to "identify a number of novel candidate viruses that were particularly amenable for future bioterror development". So maybe, if we're lucky, she will tell us more about that.
Our other new contributor, Kirby, has told me that he is already percolating some great ideas for blog posts, mostly about the Portland Trail Blazers. Kirby presently lives in Denver, CO, and studied economics in college. Once, he blew my mind when he told me that being a Marxist economist is a little like being a Christian atheist. Hopefully he'll talk more about that, but I'm also counting on him to discuss with us lacrosse, grilling, Steve McQueen, and Horatio Hornblower.
So there you have it. Kirby and R.A. can tell you more about themselves later, but now they are officially on the gun and under the ball as bloggers. I'm sure that everyone will thoroughly enjoy their wit and whimsy, or, at the very least, getting to read about something other than Wittgenstein and the White Sox for a change.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Damn Yankees!
The last time that the Yankees won a World Series was October of 2000. That was right before the infamous Presidential Election of 2000, and the last Fall Classic before George W. Bush became president. Now, nine years later, the Yankees finally win another Series - in the first November after Bush has left office. So, if the moral of the story that one must sometimes choose between the lesser of two evils, and if my two evils are the Yankees winning the World Series or George Bush being president, then by God I would want the damn Yankees to win it every single year.
Still, you've got to sing:
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Kids Say The Darnedest Things, Day 78
"What was the name of that guy who played for the Yankees?" he asked.
I turned to look at him.
"What?" I said.
"What was the name of that guy who played for the Yankees?" J- repeated, obviously becoming irritated with my inability to know the name of that guy.
"Babe Ruth." Sure, I thought. Why not.
"Nooo, Mr. W!" exclaimed J-. "The other guy who played for the Yankees!"
I paused, intending to make it a pause pregnant with meaning, hoping that J- would pick up on it. But just in case he didn't:
"Lou Gehrig."
"NO!" I was getting worried that J- was about to spring up out of his seat, and possibly take off his shirt, he was so upset. "His name was, like, Najeeo, or something."
"You mean Joe DiMaggio?"
"Yeah! That's it!"
Pleased with myself, and with the fact that my answer got J- writing again, I turned to help the next student.
"Mr. W?" I heard from behind my back. "Can you write that on the board?"
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Yes, But Can Tim Tebow Complete a Syllogism?
I am sure that you will all be glued to your computer screens this winter to find out who wins the coveted Socrates Cup. I will be sure to keep you all updated.
My inspiration:
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
5 Thoughts on a Thursday
Actually, I am incredibly fond of R.A.'s Red friends, even if I do give her guff about it. Their political views certainly seem to be much more sound and sensible given the events of the past 18 months or so. But what I am really interested in is whether the Socialists or the Librarians will be wearing better Halloween costumes. Because they're going to have a tough time topping my costume....
2) A Duck-Rabbit.
You can also buy Duck-Rabbit beer from North Carolina. Seriously. If the guy had been smart at all, he would have copyrighted this shit.
And speaking of Ducks...
3) ESPN360.com changed my entire perspective on things last weekend. Apparently, we get a subscription to this website now because we use Comcast as our internet provider, and so last Saturday I got to watch, on my 14-inch laptop screen, Illinois vs. Purdue, Florida vs. Mississippi St. Oregon vs. Washington, and USC vs. Oregon St. It was awesome. At one point, I was actually jumping up and down in the living room, swearing at my computer, with no one else in the house except for me and the cats. This weekend, I'm going to try to fanagle my way into watching the USC-Oregon game during the various holiday festivities. I don't think that R.A. approves, but at least then, if I were sneaking away from the party every five minutes to go and stare at my computer in our bedroom or office, my costume would make some lick of sense.
And speaking of, um, Oregon sports...
4) Go Blazers! Not that I have given up on football, or even baseball even, (Go Phils), but, man, am I excited about basketball. The Blazers are going to be good. Heck, they might even win a playoff series this year! But maybe I am the most excited about having something new to talk to some of my students about that they're actually interested in. This week, for Trivia Tuesday, I wrote up some trivia questions about Kobe and LeBron, and, man, did those little eyes light up. Much more interesting than questions about Washington Irving.
Now if only I could convince them that Kobe sucks, and that Brandon Roy is much better when you consider the team as a whole.
5) And finally, sadly, I want to say that one of the kindest, funniest, and smartest people that I ever had the pleasure to know, Abe Jellinek, died last weekend in New York. It is one of the saddest events I could have ever imagined. Here is a link to the Boston Globe obituary and guest book. Here is a link to one of Abe's notes, that, I think exemplifies his brilliance and his talent. The world is a darker place without him.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Mr. Joel Explains It All
There have been a few queries from our readers as to what the actual nature of my job is, i.e., what is it that I actually freakin' do??!! (A uniquely American concern, as Henry James has taught us.)
Well, as a teacher's aide, it's my job to, um, aid the teacher. This entails, everything from making copies of handouts and running down to the attendance office for band-aids and hand sanitizer to grading papers and leading the class when she is busy. Most of my time, however, is spent patrolling the aisles of the classroom while Mrs. R teaches, helping the students with spelling questions, catching the kids who have fallen behind up, and saying over and over and over again, "Sit down please. Please sit down. Eyes on Mrs R, now, please sit down. Please be quiet. Put that away, it's time to read. Be quiet now. It's time to sit down. Sit down please. Please sit down." There's a lot of repetition.
Most of my day - actually, exactly 75% of my day - is spent in what is called "pull" classes, which are reading and math classes designed specifically for students identified as either learning disabled or cognitively impaired. These are generally smaller classes, with students who I know well and am learning how to assist on an individual level. However, these are also the classes that require the most time on social and disciplinary issues. These are the classes that I spend the most time in, and, therefore, I have the greatest amount of my sorgen invested in them. I get to be an active member of these classes, and I like being able to get into the "groove" that is provided by the repetition, that is, by knowing what we're doing each and every day and being able to work with the kids on such a regular basis that I can clearly observe the changes that are happening within them.
The rest of my day is spent following some of the students from these "pull" classes as they go to their science and social studies classes. These other classes are "standard", which means that they have at least 30 kids each and of varying skill levels. I am less involved with the execution of these classes, but rather spend most of my time helping the students from the "pull" classes stay abreast of their assignments and, basically, get everything done on time so they can pass. These periods are nice because I get exposure to students who are working at different levels and I get to learn cool things about ecosystems and Ancient Egypt.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Three Criteria of Knowledge: A Play in Two Acts
Joel: Oooh! We could get Ghostbusters 2 for $5.99!
R.A.: meh....
Joel: "Pirates of Treasure Island"? Starring Johnny Mepp?
R.A.: It can't be nearly as good as Transmorphers.
Joel: Good call.
R.A.: Here we are. Heathers. We should get this, because Ted Hughes is dead.
(pause)
Joel: Don't you mean John Hughes?
R.A.: Oh, yeah, John Hughes. Who's Ted Hughes?
Joel: I don't know. Maybe he's dead, too.
ACT II: 15 minutes later. R.A. and Joel are walking with their groceries and new copy of Heathers towards the bus stop.
R.A.: Ted Hughes is dead!
Joel: What?
R.A.: Ted Hughes. He was married to Sylvia Plath. And he is dead.
Joel: Oh. (pause) So you were right when you said "Ted Hughes is dead."
R.A.: Right.
Joel: And you believed it when you said it.
R.A.: Right.
Joel: But you still didn't know it when you said it!
R.A.: Exactly.
Joel: Oh, snap!
END.*
*Saturday was a weird day for R.A. and names. She also managed to mention the great novelists "David Pynchon" and "George Hemingway" that day. Something about manly dude writers. How odd.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Theater Cricket: Richard III
"Do you want to go?" she asked me. "But that's one of your favorite plays."
"No," I said. I was hungry and cranky and kind of just wanted to go home, but I had another reason for not going, too: "They'll just do it wrong, anyways."
Dr. Faustus is one of those pieces that I like so much that I'm really an ass about anyone else's interpretation of it. Mephisto is always played either too coy or not enough. Faustus is always either too much the sadist or way too much the martyr. I like to think that lots of people feel this way about certain plays or books or movies; one has such a relationship with the text that you become almost jealous when someone else dares to claim it as their own.
And so another play that I'm going to have to add to this list besides Dr. Faustus is Shakespeare's Richard III. I attended Barbara Gaines' production of this play last week at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater on Navy Pier, and I couldn't stop thinking during the entire performance, "You're doing it wrong!" And, although my opinion of the play may be colored by my otherwise unreasonable biases, the CST's unfortunate performance has inspired me to compile a brief list of
1) DON'T try to make Richard III into Macbeth. It's not. Last winter, I saw Macbeth at the CST, and thought that they did a great job of it. However, all of the tricks that made their Macbeth exciting - a stage shrouded in darkness, strobe lights representing flashes of lightning, a loud and intimidating soundtrack, long and elaborate battle scenes - proved only to be distractions in Richard III. Richard is not a tragedy - it's a history. And while it shares many of the same themes as Macbeth, themes of power, greed, and madness, these are not the driving forces behind the play. Richard III is about politics, and how even kings and queens can be swayed by gossip, by insinuations, by appeals to their vanity. In short, if Macbeth's weltanschauung is "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing," Richard III's is that it is "subtle, false, and treacherous," and that it "hath a thousand several tongues, and every tongue brings in a several tale..." Gaines' production sought to gloss over this important element of subtle falsehoods and treacheries by filling her Richard with sound and fury and, therefore, meaninglessness.
2) DON'T try to make Richard come off as mad or weak. He's not. For the most part, I really liked the casting in Richard III, and thought that most of the actors did an excellent job. Two of my favorites were Phillip James Brannon as Richard's brother, Clarence, and John Lister as Richard's court rival Lord Hastings. Brannon was Malcolm in CST's Macbeth, and here he has another good performance in giving "simple, plain" Clarence an edge of quiet patience and resolve. Likewise, Lister's Hastings is a good but flawed man who deeply cares about the future of England and yet also loves his wine, women, and song. Hastings is a worthy foe for Richard, and the scene in which he is finally caught by Richard's trap is one of the most rewarding in the entire play.
Which brings us to the star himself. The part of Richard is played by Wallace Acton, and almost every line he delivered made me cringe. Acton plays Richard somewhere between a schizophrenic and an ugly caricature of a gay man. He always seemed to be pawing at the other characters on stage, often literally, and with a limp wrist, coming up into their space from below, like Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein. The most horrendous examples of Acton's overacting is in one of Richard's final and most powerful soliloquies, when, on the eve of his final defeat, he says, in what could be a moment of sobering Realpolitik: "I shall despair. There is no creature loves me; and if I die no soul shall pity me: nay, wherefore should they, - since that I myself find in myself no pity to myself?" Rather than playing this scene as a kind of dark revelation, Acton delivers his lines almost exactly like Andy Serkis' Gollum from The Two Towers, all hissing and animal panic. Finally, Acton, like Feldman's Igor, is constantly glancing over his hunched shoulder at us, rolling his eyes and smirking, trying to get us "in on the joke." Which brings us to the last edict:
3) DON'T play Richard III as if it were a comedy. It's not. While there is a lot of humor in Richard III - especially in Richard's wit and in the absolute gall with which he goes through his schemes and manipulations - Baines' production often overplays its hand in showing this kind of perverse humor. The result is that I kept getting the impression that I was watching a political satire rather than a drama. And the secondary result is that the characters therefore come off as buffoons, as mere caricatures of people and not as the actual people themselves. This kind of lampooning of the political would be appropriate for something more modern or Brechtian - I did think of Jean Genet's Le Balcon more than once during the performance - but it then loses a certain sense of power that I think the play ought to convey. It is important for the audience to remember that Richard's foes and rivals - Lord Hastings, Elizabeth Woodville, Rivers and Grey - are very powerful and competent people. They are not mere dupes, and humiliating them as such, or letting the audience share in Richard's smugness at their being manipulated, cheapens Richard's ability to triumph over them. And this, in turn, further alienates us from the character of Richard, and makes us unable to appreciate how he rises to the power and why, once he is on the throne, he is unable to retain that position.
The CST's performance of Richard III seemed to not understand that the play works because it is about ordinary humans placed in extraordinary situations. Instead, Baines sought to substitute spectacle and symbolism for subtlety and realism. Richard III is a great play that signifies a great many different things. It symbolizes nothing.
Richard III
by William Shakespeare
directed by Barbara Gaines
September 23 - November 22, 2009
Chicago Shakespeare Theater
312.595.5600
www.chicagoshakes.com
Acton as Richard. Wendy Robie as Elizabeth. Demetrios Troy as Rivers, Juan Gabriel Ruiz as Grey, and John Reeger as Stanley.
The Chicago Tribune was equally unimpressed.
The Sun-Times seemed to like everything about the play that I disliked.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Oregon vs. Oklahoma: An Analysis
| Oregon | Oklahoma |
Population | 3,790,060 (27th) | 3,642,361 (28th) |
Size | 98,466 sq. mi. (9th) | 68,898 sq. mi. (20th) |
Shape | Round square. Also known as an “or-agon.” | Pan. Possibly a cast iron skillet. |
Electoral Votes | 7 | 7 |
Last Voted for a... | Republican in 1984 (Reagan) | Democrat in 1964 (Johnson) |
Infamous serial killer | Ted Bundy | Timothy McVeigh |
Eccentric indie rock band | The Decemberists | The Flaming Lips |
Act of Native American Genocide | Rogue River Indian Wars | The Trail of Tears |
Great Blue-Collar Novel later adapted into a film starring Henry Fonda | Sometimes A Great Notion | The Grapes of Wrath |
Iconic commodity expressing the principle of Manifest Destiny | The Oregon Trail | Oklahoma! |
Warning: What Proceeds Is A Long and Rambling Rant Concerning College Football. Proceed With Caution.
I must admit, first, that things have been looking pretty grim for me and my sports teams lately. The Sox completely fell apart in August, going 2-8 on a crucial road trip to New York, Boston, and Minnesota, basically killing any chances that they had of making the playoffs. But they did win their make-up game at Wrigley, thereby winning the season series against the Cubs, and, in the end, that's all that really matters, right?
Besides, I thought, the White Sox falling apart will just let me dedicate my full attention to College Football, right? And then the Oregon Ducks go out on their season opener and embarrass themselves on and off the field against Boise State. So please pardon me for just not feeling like talking about sports for a while.
But then yesterday comes around, and I get to watch most of the Oregon-Utah game from an Applebee's off of I-57 in Champagne, and the Ducks beat - albeit sloppily - a top 20 team that hadn't lost in 2 years and had won last year's Sugar Bowl. Huzzah! And then, to top it off, when I get back home I discover that the Washington Huskies beat USC! Oh, twist!
So I finally had a reason to go to bed happy last night. But I was lying, waiting for sweet slumber to overtake me, I couldn't help but wonder: How will the AP vote tomorrow? They have to punish USC, but the Trojans still need to be ranked above Ohio State. Brigham Young got routed by Florida State at home, but does that mean that they're now going to be below an Oklahoma team that they beat just two weeks ago? My head was spinning.
I woke up this morning, put on my Spider-Man pajama pants, made some coffee, and then settled down to discover - to my horror though not my surprise - that the AP voters had placed Oklahoma at 10th, USC at 12th, FSU at 18th, and BYU at 19th. This is why I have so much sympathy for the mid-majors. Brigham Young has the same record as Oklahoma and beat them in Oklahoma, and yet the voters say that Oklahoma is nine spots better than BYU in the rankings. Furthermore, the voters are saying that it's better to lose at home by one point with your quarterback playing half the game than it is to lose by three points on the road without your quarterback for the entire game. Thhhhppbttt!!
Of course, I have my own ulterior motives for my discontent. All the clouds that lour over my house have been put there by the Oklahoma Sooners. You see, what a lot of people here in the midwest don't realize is that, even though Oregon may be rivals with teams like Oregon State, USC, or Boise State, their nemesis is the University of Oklahoma. The animosity between these two teams is not very old, but it is quite deep and bitter; #2 Oklahoma whooping unranked Oregon 31-7 on national TV in 2004, #23 Oklahoma upsetting #5 Oregon in the 2005 Holiday Bowl, then having their win stricken from the records by an alumni job scandal, then having it restored a year later, and of course#18 Oregon beating #11 Oklahoma in September 2006 on a last minute onside kickoff that, under replay, maybe probably should have been given to Oklahoma.
This is why I want to make this Oregon-Oklahoma rivalry real. And we don't have to just be rivals at football. No, we can be rivals at everything. Seriously, just look at the facts for a minute or two and you'll see how Oregon and Oklahoma are near-perfect Others of one another, or, more accurately, how Oklahoma is like some kind of Bizarro Oregon...
Saturday, September 19, 2009
LOLCat Wars!
Tun is the matriarch of the house, as she is the oldest and grouchiest. She spends most of her time atop the kitty condo in the living room, looking down on the rest of us peons. She's not the biggest or the fastest or the most spry of cats, but she is definitely the boss. She can also growl like a dog. It's crazy. Virgil, on the other hand, is a big softy. He likes to spend most of his time outside, where there are mice and shrews to eat and he can be left alone by the cats, who are always mean to him. Virgil is much more fond of R.A. and me than Tun, and he has even gotten into the habit of presenting R.A. with mice that he killed just for her and now she can eat them or play with them or just leave them the carpet to give it that nice dead rodent smell. (R.A.: "When I do none of these things, he cries.") Virgil is also a really big guy; once he came up behind me to snuggle me with his head and pretty much knocked me over. But Tun still bosses him around, because she's the boss.
So Coraline has to find a place somewhere in between these two. She's getting the hang of the bossing around Virgil part; he'll come around our bedroom door, mewing and asking to be let outside, and Coraline will waste no time in running out and thumping him right on the melon. Tun, however, is a different story. Coraline is smaller and younger, and has been an indoor cat for most of her life*, but she's also from the big city, and she survived Kitty Concentration Camp. I'm serious. She's like the Elie Wiesel of cats, except that she hasn't been duped by a massive Ponzi scheme. (That I'm aware of. But who knows what she does with her finances.) The point is that, though she be wee, she is also fierce. And she and Tun have come to blows more than once, as they both believe that they ought to be in charge.
Probably my favorite part of this situation is watching how Tun and Coraline tactically advance and withdraw as they both try to claim as much territory as possible. It's like a game of Risk. Coraline pretty much controls the area around our bedroom and office, while Tun's territory is outside of B's bedroom and the den that leads to the back porch. The kitchen seems to be No Man's Land, and they each control parts of the living room. In this analogy, the laundry room is Alaska and B's office space is Kamchatka. Got to control Kamchatka. They go back and forth throughout the day, making incursions into eachother's territory, setting up outposts, and then retreating back to their bases. At first, there was much hollering and flashing of knife-mittens, but now we've reached a state of civility where they pretty much just sit at opposite ends of a room and stare at each other.
Until Virgil wanders into the room to ask someone to please let him outside.
P.S. - Go Ducks. Go Beavers. Go...sigh...Twins.
*She has been outside in the backyard once or twice. Boy, the world is big!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Threats to Public Health
So I figured that, given these circumstances, it'd probable be best for me not to go to work today.
*That would've been an awesome pun, except that I don't actually feel nauseous. Oh, well. Maybe next time.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
One Week Later
I had a pretty good week this last week, as the school year has gotten going and the students have settled into something resembling a schedule. There are still a lot of challenges, however - for example, explaining to one student I don't think that he'll be able to get his own security camera in his locker but that, yes, I will be sure to bring that up at our next super secret teachers' meeting - and I have yet to get used to the whole "working every day, all day" concept. It leaves so little time for all of the important things in my life, like blogging!
R.A.'s classes are going quite well, also, and they're even teaching her some practical and marketable skills like troubleshooting for PC's. But there's also a lot of critical theory* at work in the Library Sciences. In one of her classes, they're discussing what qualifies something as a "document," and about whether or not stuff like animals in zoos or patients in hospitals can be seen as "documents." This thought is related to the Institutional Theory of Art that's associated with the philosopher Arthur Danto, someone who was quite big at Bard and who R.A. in particular knows very well. So, in other words, I think that this program at UIllinois is going to be right up her alley.
And, as an added bonus, maybe if I butcher the theories of Danto enough here, it will make R.A. have to blog more, if just to correct me.
*Critical theory, of course, being the antonym for "practical and marketable skill."
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Two Weeks Later
And it's true; no 14-year old wants to read (or, even more so, be seen reading) anything about Amelia Badelia or My Teacher the Tyrannosaurus. Unfortunately, everything that I have found so far that might be interesting to them on a thematic level is above their reading comprehension skills.
So here's your homework - I know that a lot of you have some kind of experience in either early education or special education. So my question is: what resources exist for these students? There should be a program that publishes reading material that deals with issues appropriate for young adults that is on a young child's reading skill level. I have done some research into the area online, but, although I have found some interesting independently published journals aimed at middle school-aged students, I have yet to find anything that could possibly accommodate our students. So, please, if you have any leads on where to find literature designed for young adults with learning disabilities and remedial reading skills, or if you know of someone who might have some productive thoughts on this matter, please let me know.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
No Time To Blog! No Time To Blog! No Time To Blog!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Yet Another Weekend Update
In the meantime, well, it has been pretty cold and rainy here in Chicago. I feel kinda bad when I read about the sweltering and oppressive heat that my friends and family have been enduring on the west coast. It's almost as if our summers this year have been switched this year, with Portland being hot and muggy and miserable and Chicago being cool and rainy and damp. (Seriously! I had to wear a friggin' sweatshirt today, and it's August!)
So, in short not too much interesting has been happening in my life. At least, not much blog-worthy. However, the USA Today did release its first college football poll of the season!
And do you know who USA Today's preseason top 5 are? Florida, Texas, Oklahoma, USC, and Alabama. Seriously, Orrin Hatch should be spending his time trying to ban these preseason polls if he really wants Utah in the championship. (They have Notre Dame at 23, for Touchdown Jesus' sake! Have these people even been watching college football for the past ten years?)
Here is a weird and rather disturbing gender-biased article from the Boston Globe about the color of Red Sox fans hats: "Why is the Pink Hat so Hated?" If it were up to me, I would ban those green Irish baseball caps. They have those for both the Cubs and the White Sox now, and even though Chicago does have a long tradition of Irish violence, I still feel like those hats do nothing but encourage general douchebaggery.
And, finally, speaking of violent douchebags, what is up with all of the disruptions of Democrats town hall meetings about universal health care about?
Seriously, what is with these people? Barging into other people's political rallies, shouting down speakers and elected officials, threatening violence and rioting. It's like we have our very own brand of the SA! Only these are all old people. But, you know, they're old people with Second Amendment rights.
Pledge to attend a health care meeting here.
On a slightly brighter note:
I'm thinking of changing John Bolton's Wikipedia page to just a link of the footage of Hillary Clinton laughing derisively.